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I am graduating from college in less than a month and I am the most in love I've ever been. |
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steak frites and red wine in the middle of the afternoon is always a good idea. |
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Rather than one large thing that elates me there are a lot of little things that make my fingers tingle. |
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I am wearing a bright red skirt and a striped man's shirt that reminds me of a train conductor. The air is cool enough so that we shut all the windows last night and switched off the fan for the first time in a long while. We pulled the blankets up to our chins. He was gone for a little while and in that time I realized a few things: my family is a beautiful unit that I will always return to, he is a tremendous friend and I am impatiently awaiting some things to come. It is not that I am unhappy here, I just crave newness in the form of streets I have never walked upon, cafes where not a single face is familiar to me and water that runs from the faucet that makes my skin feel different. I would like to see how I'll do. Each day I am getting older, I can feel it. It does not frighten me. Tonight we will drive to a city that is not here and I am excited for that adventure. |
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Nothing can go backwards anymore, even if I tried. I am not trying. I am only trying to move forward. With you. |
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Kundera says "A person who longs to leave the place where he lives is an unhappy person." I want to leave this place to seek out newness but I think I am happy still. What about you? |
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The time comes when it's been so long that those moments seem unreal and all you have is what is real right now; nothing else. Things I remember are from a time that seems like it never really happened at all. Some things faded while others have appeared. I don't know how to feel about all this. |
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I love you, endlessly. I am never nostalgic for anything anymore. You are everything, this is everything. The past is irrelevant except for that it made us able to love each other the way we do: without question. Today is here. Tomorrow will be better. |
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the longing is so intense that I think it is four years ago and we are those people again and the time didn't pass and I am so afraid but unafraid that everything is ok. |
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The sky was alive tonight. It was illuminated by lightning. It glowed, made the clouds translucent. I could feel the electricity descend from the clouds. There's something about being in the middle of the country that makes me want to be well connected to the earth, the sky and myself. |
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There are no strangers in my life. I know who I know. I love who I know. I am content. Besides, if you know too many people your heart is bound to go bad. |
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Our first date was at the piano bar. I knew I was going to fall in love with you even before I got there. I wore my dress shoes that look like saddle shoes. I put on red lipstick. Halfway through the night, after we'd had more than a few Tom Collins, you told me I looked pretty. Near the end you kissed me, right in front of the piano player. We kissed for such a long time, right there, in front of everyone. It had rained that day. We went outside and everything felt warm. It had begun. Now here I am three months later. We have become a duo. Where you are, I am. Where I am, you are. We wake up next to each other everyday. I put my hands through your curls and feel a sort of connection that I wasn't sure existed. I wonder if we can go on like this forever. I hope so. I know how the beginning goes and I don't want to know the ending yet. All my other love stories have an ending. This one, I hope, is the one that will not have one. |
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